ADHD in Women: Impacts on Self-Esteem

Women with ADHD often face a unique set of challenges when it comes to self-esteem. The combination of ADHD symptoms such as distractibility, forgetfulness, and impulsivity, and societal expectations can create a cycle of self-doubt, frustration, and isolation. However, within these struggles lies an incredible potential for growth, resilience, and empowerment. By understanding how ADHD impacts self-esteem and learning to establish healthy boundaries, women can navigate daily life with greater confidence and self-compassion.

Self-esteem is how we perceive and value ourselves. It shapes how we view our abilities, our qualities, and our place in the world. For women with ADHD, self-esteem can often feel fragile, especially when ADHD symptoms lead to frequent setbacks and frustrations. The roots of low self-esteem can often be traced back to early life experiences, such as bullying, neglect, or feeling misunderstood, all of which can profoundly shape how we see ourselves as adults. For women with ADHD, these early experiences can be especially impactful, particularly when ADHD symptoms were not recognized or supported during childhood. The lack of understanding can reinforce negative beliefs, creating a cycle that feels difficult to break. When we believe we are incapable or doomed to fail, we might avoid tasks, set unrealistically high expectations, or procrastinate—behaviours that only strengthen those negative beliefs. These patterns can be overwhelming and isolating, but with the right mindset and support, they are changeable.

Adding to these struggles is the societal pressure to “do it all” and excel in multiple roles. Women with ADHD often feel this pressure acutely, as they juggle responsibilities at work, at home, and in relationships. This constant balancing act can quickly lead to burnout, feelings of inadequacy, and isolation. In today’s world, the tendency to compare ourselves to others, particularly through the lens of social media, can exacerbate these feelings. Social media often presents curated, idealized versions of life, making it seem like everyone else is effortlessly managing while we struggle to keep up. What is often overlooked in these moments of comparison is that everyone faces challenges, many of which are hidden behind carefully crafted images. Perfection is not the standard we should hold ourselves to. Instead, we should focus on our own journey, embrace our progress, and celebrate our growth, no matter how small it may seem.

On top of these pressures, societal expectations place additional demands on women to be compliant, and unobtrusive, traits that may conflict with some symptoms of ADHD. In an attempt to fit into these rigid expectations, women with ADHD may feel the need to suppress their symptoms, hiding parts of themselves to avoid judgment. This constant masking of who they truly are can be exhausting and frustrating. It demands a lot of energy, often reinforcing the false belief that their true selves are not enough. Over time, this takes a toll on self-esteem, leaving women feeling disconnected from their authentic selves.

Building self-esteem as a woman with ADHD is a process of rediscovering your strengths, embracing your uniqueness, and learning to prioritize your needs. It involves challenging societal expectations that don’t serve you and adopting a more compassionate and realistic view of yourself. By challenging negative self-talk, practicing mindfulness, setting boundaries, and seeking supportive relationships, you can begin to rebuild your self-esteem and cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth. Your past struggles do not define your future potential—what matters is how you choose to care for and honour yourself today.

Contributed by:
Charlene Forde-Smith, MA, MSW (Candidate), 

Charlene has been one of the facilitators for a free local Women’s ADHD support group in Hamilton, Ontario. This group meets monthly, and you can find more information on the EventBrite Page here.
To learn more about Charlene, visit the Team Page, or to book a session fill out the form here.