Men’s Mental Health
Breaking the Stigma
Despite so many strides to eradicate the stigma of mental health struggles, mental health can still elicit feelings of shame and weakness. Men, in particular, still struggle to escape the enculturated beliefs that expressing their emotions are unmanly, leaning into viewpoints that ADHD, anxiety, depression or many of the other notable mental health struggles are a sign of fragility. These archaic beliefs that men should be in control of their emotions can often prompt feelings that they are failing, not only if they experience symptoms of mental health, but also if they were to reach out for support in dealing with such.
You might be reading this, saying ok, yes, we know all of this.
And yet, men still struggle with reaching out for support, so while we may know all of this, how do we break the cycle?
Education, informing ourselves and advocating for those who may not be able to advocate on their own is part of the answer.
ADHD: More Than Hyperactivity
Let’s take ADHD for example. What do you know about it? Most people associate hyper-activity, emotion dysregulation and lean into perceptions about those with ADHD being just overall disruptive people. Wrong. So wrong. Yes, some may struggle with hyper-activity and emotion dysregulation, and struggle with control until their brain learns (differently than a neurotypical brain) how to manage better. But guess what else they might struggle with? Executive functioning, ability to focus, organize, remembering instructions, staying on track, and following through with a task. Can you imagine how frustrating, exhausting and challenging all of this may be for someone on a daily basis? Now exacerbate these feelings with being told you’re lazy, uncommitted and have zero work ethic. Yep, this is often what’s projected onto people with ADHD. Now, imagine suffering in silence because you’re also told and expected to keep your feelings to yourself and to just ‘do better.’ Imagine this being told to you since you took your first steps? Your brain has been wired to believe that your struggles aren’t valid, you’re not doing enough and whatever you feel is irrelevant and going to seek support or acknowledge any of this means you’re weak and a failure.
Whoa. I have to breathe even just writing this.
Anxiety and Depression: The Silent Struggles
Now let’s talk about anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression can present with those who have ADHD, but are you really surprised given what you just read? For now, let’s let anxiety and depression stand on their own so I can make my point even stronger. Anxiety disorders are the most prevalent mental health struggles experienced by men and less than half will seek treatment and more than four times as many men as women die by suicide every year! While women typically suffer more than men with mental illness, the stigma we spoke about above negatively impacts men more so which is why they often don’t seek treatment and support. Consider such reasons as culture, fatherhood, socioeconomic status and race as triggers or reasons why so many men may suffer from depression and anxiety. In many cultures, men are taught to “man up” or “be tough” and experiencing or showing emotions is not and never was permitted in so many cultures. While there is much more acceptance and knowledge of a mother’s stress, anxiety and depression, little is known about a father’s experience. Becoming a new father can elicit so much uncertainty, also figuring out how to balance work, family and caring for children in addition to the relationship changes with their partner. Now, take these struggles and compound them with beliefs that they are weak or not manly if they were to acknowledge or even seek support for such thoughts and feelings. In many cases, men aren’t even aware of what they’re “feeling” simply because they were never taught. The result? They suffer in silence. Compound this further? The symptoms are different for men, where they might engage in escapist behaviour, spending more time at work and sports, and/or experience headaches, digestive issues, and unexplainable body pain. They may misuse drugs and alcohol, engage in controlling or violent behaviour, experience anger and/or aggressiveness, engage in reckless behaviour, or have difficulty concentrating and feeling restless.
The Weight of Financial Stress
What about socioeconomic status? Most of your thoughts are probably going directly to asking how can anyone even afford to live these days, right? Exactly. Think about your pay cheque and how far it doesn’t seem to go anymore, adding childcare and the ENDLESS costs that are associated with raising children. Compound this with the traditional mindset that a man is supposed to financially provide for his family, potentially feeling like a failure because he can’t put enough food on the table (or any at all), pay monthly bills, pay for his kid’s school trip, pay for clothing, pay for child support and/or alimony, financially supporting aging parents and/or family members, or whatever his financial obligations are. To add insult, he’s feeling symptoms of anxiety and depression because of such, but now he’s deemed himself weak and a failure for not doing better and ‘letting himself’ experience anxiety and depression. Remember, men aren’t supposed to feel emotions or struggle with anxiety and/or depression right?
We’re not quite done yet.
Men within the BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and people of colour) community face unique barriers when it comes to addressing their mental health. Whether it’s a cultural stigma like we mentioned above or the orthodox definitions of masculinity they’re taught, BIPOC men typically abstain from treatment, and again, that’s even if they’re aware of the fact they are struggling with their mental health. The reality is, we cannot know what we are not taught by our caregivers. There is so much slavery, segregation, and oppression within the lineage of this community, there also exists beliefs that if their ancestors could survive such, their mental health struggles may seem insignificant in comparison. This message may have also been verbally delivered to subsequent generations, invalidating current generations’ struggles like they were taught by their ancestors to be nullified. We are what we’re taught. Most of our ancestors never spoke about their traumas, let alone their feelings, which is years and years of untreated trauma and internalization of such, so how can subsequent generations understand their struggles if they’re never talked about? Compound this with the reality that there are culturally unresponsive therapeutic options and many many years of cultural mistrust.
How do we create trust and safety for men, but also men within the BIPOC community?
We need to understand more about contexts in which these men would feel comfortable talking about their feelings and traumas – adaptations of individual therapy devoted to men and men within the BIPOC community. We need to first inform ourselves and actively advocate for those we sense may be suffering, knowing the signs, checking in, and validating that anxiety, depression and any other mental health struggles are okay and not a sign of weakness or failure. Getting creative in ways to adapt individual therapy for men can help break the cycle of stigma and get more men seeking support and talking!
Contributed by:
Amanda Lucia, MACP, RP (qualifying)
To learn more about Amanda, visit the Team Page, or to book a session fill out the form here.
